Mom had dated around a little bit before Steve, but never anyone seriously. She was enjoying herself, after having been separated from my dad for about two and a half years at that point. It was nice to see her doing things for herself.
I don't remember the first time I met Steve, but I'm sure we were all a little shy around him at first. I do remember that Kyle didn't really like him initially, but that really had nothing to do with Steve, and more with the fact that he didn't like Mom dating. :)
Steve was instantly part of our life. He had two girls of his own, Autumn and Lauren, but their mom pretty much kept them away, so we didn't see them as much as I'm sure Steve would have liked to. Steve is a big man. He's about 6'4" and 280 pounds, and good-looking. He has a loud voice, and a great laugh. He has the biggest heart of just about anyone I know, other than my mom, and he is big, gruff, teddy bear. Steve likes to read, play softball, sleep late, cook, hunt, fish, and spend time with his girls. He cusses like a sailor, and it's hilarious.
I took to him immediately, and so did Katie and Kacie. Katie and Kacie were six when my parents separated, and my dad had been sort-of in and out of our lives after that. He was sick a lot too, so we didn't get to see him much. So Steve was sort-of a father figure for my sisters. They were nine when Mom and Steve started dating, so they were still very young and hadn't seen much of my dad in three years.
Steve was so funny. He loved to do things with us and Mom. He took us fishing and camping, and four-wheeler riding. He was a fantastic cook and would make these awesome meals for us. He had this one meal, which he called River Gumbo, that I STILL think about, and I probably haven't eaten it in four years. He came to our sports events, sometimes took the twins to different practices, asked us about school and our grades, and just loved us. He didn't expect anything from us, just for us to be respectful of our mom.
Mom was truly herself around Steve. She didn't have to pretend, or do things differently. She could me moody, and Steve would just call her on it. They laughed a lot. Mom took up gardening again, after her and Steve started dating, and they even planted a vegetable garden for a few years on Burningtown.
Steve was with Mom when we found out our dad died. He hugged us, and told us he was sorry. I think he felt as helpless as my mom did. But he helped us through our grief. And what sticks out most in my mind, was that he was just there. There for us, no matter what we needed. I don't know how many men would do that.
Steve stuck with Mom through her cancer diagnosis, and helped with the kids and around the house. I was in college at that point, and so was Tommy, so that made things a little harder. Steve asked Mom to marry him Christmas 2008. They had been together four years at that point. He asked us all if that would be ok, and we said yes! Mom wanted a Fall wedding, and at that point, her cancer was in remission. They didn't get married in 2009, and shortly after Christmas, Mom's cancer came back. She died five weeks later.
I don't remember a lot about the day my mom died. It was so traumatic, and so crazy, that I just don't remember much of anything. But I do remember thinking, how are we going to tell Steve? We couldn't get a hold of him right when it happened. He was working somewhere where there wasn't good cell service, so it took us a couple of hours to get word to him. I just remember, after he finally got to Nanny's, we all went running up to him and hugged him. And he just kept saying, "I'm so sorry." He was crying, we were crying...it broke my heart to see him, thinking of what he just lost.
Steve stayed at Mom's with the kids until school was out in June, and they moved in with us. He didn't have to do that...he really had no obligation to us at that point. But he did. He stayed when he didn't have to. I will always be grateful for that.
Steve had a rough childhood. His dad did the best he could, but Steve had step-mother who was not nice to Steve or his brother. He joined the military, got married young (to a woman who is so evil, I couldn't ever imagine someone like Steve marrying her), divorced, and just had to deal with a lot of shit from him ex-wife. There's more to Steve's life than that, but I don't feel it's my place to divulge everything. Just take my word that Steve didn't have a lot of support growing up, or during his marriage.
When he found my mom, Steve changed. He became a better person. And so did my mom. They were good for each other. When Mom died, a little part of Steve died too. You can still tell now, even though it's been two years, and he has a new girlfriend. Steve just isn't back to his old self yet.
I'm writing this because I saw Steve today. We ran into each other at the grocery store. It's the first time I've seen him in two years. We hugged, and talked, and hugged again before we parted ways. He said "I still love you, Meg." And I told him I love him too. Because I do. He was a part of our lives for eight years. Eight years that he made my mom happy, and helped to take care of us.
Not many men would date a woman who had five kids. Not many men would go through all the crap that Steve has had to, and still be a good person. Not many men would continue to pursue seeing his kids after their ex-wife tried to poison them against him. Not many men would continue to love us when he didn't have to anymore. But Steve is not just any man. He is special, to me, and to all of us, and I am so thankful that he was, and is, part of our lives.
I hope Steve knows how much he means to me, and how much we miss him and love him. I also hope he knows that we are so thankful that he was with my mom, and made her happy. I love you Steve!
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