My Students On an Average Day, Part 2

And here it is again!  A lot of people told me they got a good kick out of "My Students on an Average Day" so I decided that this should be a regular thing.  This was over the course of a couple of days that I heard all this stuff.  I usually hear more in one day, but I was busy teaching (you know, doing my job), so I didn't pay as close attention as I did the first time.  Nonetheless, I wrote down what I could!  So here is Part 2.  Again, some of it is crude, some of it is funny, and some of it is downright weird.  I hope you enjoy!

"Look, Atlantis!"

"We’re playing the backwards version, and I don’t like it."

"Assume the position!"


"You know that whole 'Jesus Saves' thing?  Well, I forgot to save."


"Epic door open.  Walk in.  Stumble."


"I need to borrow the scissors...::dramatic pause::...so I can kill someone."


"Clearly, he's crying like a little girl."


::stroking face in deep thought:: "So technically, they could be lying."


"I don't want to be the bigger person."


"I used to be good at basketball, then I turned brown."


"Like a boss!"


"Your self-esteem will go down the longer you are in this class."


"Mrs. Reynolds, we don't mean to make you want to quit teaching."


"I told you, I am Mercutio, and you are Tybalt."


"What, do you hate me or something?  Is that what you are laughing about?"


"This is depressing."  "What is?"  "My life."


"It's because I'm Mexican, isn't it?"  "You're white, dude."


"Have you ever looked at your cat and wondered what it tastes like?"


"If guys can't do it, girls shouldn't either."

"You're the only guy in this group, and we don't agree with you, so shut up."

"We should be called the Care Bears.
"Why?"
"Because we care."

"We had a Hitler baby.  His name was Adolph."


"Our slogan should be "Anyway you want it, that's the way you need it."

"How do I know you don't have some brainwashing scheme going on here?"

"I used to be cool, then you were born."

“There’s a 30% chance of rain today.” 
“Did you just re-enact the movie Mean Girls?” 
“::laughs out loud::: Yes.”

“Can I have a noodle?”  “No, it’s my noodle.”

“I am Batman.”

“Honey, why is the baby on fire?”