Tommy

Tomorrow, my brother Tommy is moving to Florida.  He decided to do this a few months ago, and went through the process of trying to find a job, and setting up a place to live until he can find something more permanent.  I am so happy for Tommy, but I am also a little sad.  This will really be the first time that the five of us Peck kids will not have a permanent residence in the same town.  Of course, Kyle is in Raleigh for most of the year, but at this point, he still calls Franklin home, and do the twins and I.  But Tommy is pulling up roots here, and planting them again in Florida.


There is almost no memory I have, growing up, that doesn't include Tommy.  He was born when I was 17 months old.  Mom used to tell me I was pretty jealous of him when he was born.  I didn't like this new kid who took a lot of the attention that used to be focused on me.  But I think I came around pretty quickly.  Tommy was my first sibling, my first playmate, and really, probably my first friend.  We did EVERYTHING together.  We played on the same t-ball team when we were both old enough to start.  Dad made me wait a year to get my First Communion, so Tommy would be old enough to do it too.  We enjoyed the same sports, the same food.  Until we were about 18 and 17 respectively, we pretty much shared the same friends, too.  We learned to drive together, making circles around our neighborhood in Dad's jeep.  We fought almost constantly from the ages of 8-12.  We mastered the art of "silent fighting" so Mom wouldn't hear us, and so we wouldn't get in trouble.  We teased each other constantly, but we also wouldn't let anyone else do that to the other.


Tommy and I shared a room until I was probably 7.  And even then, after we moved to Durham, I slept in Tommy and Kyle's room with them until I was 10 or 11.  There was comfort in that.  Every night, we would lay down on the bottom bunk of their bunk beds.  Tommy against the wall, Kyle in the middle, and me on the outside.  We would lay there and say our prayers, out loud, together.  It almost had a rhythm to it.  We would say "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  If I should die before I wake, I pray dear Lord, my soul to take."  We would then proceed to ask God to bless every single family member friend, pet, acquaintance, and stranger we could think of.  "God bless Nanny, God bless Papa, God bless Lady, and Sadie, and Hunter. God bless Grandma, Grandpa, Holly, Amy, Kelly"....you get the picture.  We always saved our family for last.  (Just FYI, Lady, Sadie, and Hunter were my Nanny and Papa's dogs lol).  "God bless Mommy and Daddy, Meghan, Tommy, Kyle, and Bingo."  Of course, later, we added Katie and Kacie to the list as well.  We said those prayers every single night, out loud and together.  Thinking back, it was really sweet, and it was our private little ritual before going to sleep.


In the summer, we played outside everyday together.  I made him play "My Little Pony" and we used birthday party hats on the front of our heads so we would look like unicorns.  We played "football player and cheerleader."  I was the football player, Tommy the cheerleader (mostly because I made him do it).  We made our own restaurant in the backyard, using our air conditioning unit top to "grill" leaves so they looked like they had char marks, and adding wild onions and whatever else we could find to fill the leaf burritos.  We tried to set up a lemonade stand, and I'm pretty sure Mom was our only customer for the whole week.   We played pirates with our neighbors.  We rode our go cart for hours.  We played hot box, and one-on-one basketball.


I remember one time, Tommy and I were in elementary school in Durham.  We went to this before-school program because our parents had to be at work earlier than our school started.  I think we were doing our geography activity one morning.  Mrs. Roberts, the director, asked Tommy a question, and Tommy didn't know the answer.  Mrs. Roberts started belittling Tommy, and basically calling him stupid.  I got SO ANGRY!  I stood up and looked at Mrs. Roberts and said, "Shut up and leave him alone!  He doesn't know, so ask somebody else!"  I had tears running down my face, I was so angry.  She just looked at me.  She didn't know what to say.  I was kind-of surprised at myself.  I had never yelled at an adult before.  I actually never got in trouble for that, but I will always remember that feeling of her being so mean, and thinking how wrong it was.  Plus, she was messing with my brother.


As we got older, we still remained best of friends.  My dad started to drink more, and was pretty mean to Tommy at times.  I wish now I had stuck up for him more, instead of being grateful that it wasn't me.  I feel like maybe Dad would have listened to me.  I feel guilty about that a lot.  But Tommy got through it.


When we moved to Franklin, Tommy was so happy.  It's where he'd always wanted to be.  He made TONS of friends quickly, while I struggled through the next three years of high school.  Tommy and I had sort-of traded places.  I had always been the one with lots of friends, places to go, people to see.  But now, Tommy was that person.  I was happy for him, and glad that he was finally showing everyone who he was, the person I had always known.  That continues today.  Tommy is so out-going, and friendly, and everyone loves him.  And I'm so proud of that.


When our dad died, we were all so shocked and upset.  Tommy was a junior in high school, and I was a senior.  I remember, the night after we found out dad died, Tommy knocked on my door really late.  He was upset and crying, as I was.  He asked if he could sleep in my room that night.  And of course, I said yes.  No matter that we were nearly grown, we knew we could count on each other to be there.


As kids do as they grow up, Tommy and I drifted apart some, especially after I started dating Mark.  I was so wrapped up in him, I kinda forgot about everyone else.  Mark and I got married, and Tommy and Kyle walked me down the aisle.  That was such a special moment.  Not quite a year later, Mom passed away.  We all pulled closer than we ever had.  Tommy and I had our moments, over that next year.  We had a lot of decisions to make, and that sometimes brought a lot of tension.  We were also angry that Mom was gone, sad, depressed, in shock.  We really weren't ourselves for several months after Mom died.  We always knew though, that we all had each other.  I learned  to shut my mouth and not take my anger out on Tommy.  And he did the same.  I think Tommy and I are closer than we have been in a long time.


So here we are, at a moment where we won't see each other every day, or even once a week, for lunch at Nanny's.  Tommy will be 12 hours away, with my dad's side of the family.  He will work at an office I'm not familiar with, go to restaurants I don't frequent, make friends with people I've never heard of...all of these things are good things.  But it's uncharted territory for me and Tommy.  I've always known exactly who he was around and what he was doing, where.  That will change now.  And I guess, as a big sister, that bothers me a little.  And I will definitely miss him.  But it's okay.  He's starting a new chapter, and I am so happy for him.


I'm really writing all this down for myself, and for Tommy.  I'm so very proud of Tommy for taking this step. It's brave and mature.  I don't think I could do it...leave my family I've spent the last 11 years with to start a new job, live in a new place.  He's doing it all by himself.  I mean, sure, my dad's family is down there, and we are close to them too, but still.  Tommy has recognized that Franklin is holding him back.  He's made the best friends he's ever had here.  He had his first serious dates here.  He went to his first parties and had his first drink here.  He graduated from high school, and college, here.  He started his first "real" job here.  He grew into a man here.  


Now, he will have other firsts in a new "here."  I think he has made the best decision he could ever make for himself.  And even though that means I am not going to get to see him as often, I'm okay with that.  Because he's still my brother, and he's still my best friend.  And I know that, no matter where he moves, or what happens in life, that will never change.  Congratulations Tommy!  I love you brother.


P.S.
You better get a house big enough for us to stay with you when we come visit! :)